Halfway in and halfway out

 A note from Anne,

I usually edit Katie's posts, try to make the spelling perfect and take some of the edge off,  this is raw-  I think it speaks for itself and needs no bandaids.  Sometimes we just have to say it like it is.  Hope you continue to pray with me for Katie and for Uganda.  

today was good, but sort of a change in plans. There has been allot of other stuff going on at the church in kitgum because the pastors son is "launching his album," so we've decided to go out to the village this week and do kitgum kids in a later week. Today we did not get out to the village though because Florence is sick still and many of the guys that will be helping were just too occupied to go today. People just do not get it here, its VERY frustrating! This is the 5th day Florence has been sick with malaria (you should be fine after 3 days with the medicine) and they just keep treating her for it even though they have tested her again and said there is not showing malaria any longer. They would not do anymore tests today and she is still sick with a fever tonight! Its sooo frustrating. we paid more for her room and then they did not have lights working in it, we complained they said there was nothing they could do, Then we take out the lightbulb and its a bad bulb is all it is. But, the advisor says he has no "knowledge" of this stuff. Wilson said, "I am an electrician, now go and get me the bulb," and he still could not even do that. It so rediculous its like everyone has their idiotic protocol!

 

I said last night then I would go help at the orphanage today but that if Gloria ( Gloria is the 3 year old with AIDS)  still had not been taken to the doctor I would ask them if I could take her, I was up late thinking about her. I arrived there and asked and they said that I could, so I walked down the street to the hospital with her. I tell you the hospital is something else..if you are admitted as a patient you must have someone there at all times to take care of you (cause God only knows what the nurses do besides stand in the office..) anyway so I brought Gloria and we were there for about 5 hours before we were through with meeting the doctors and picking up her medication. It costed me $1.50 for both the visit and the prescription, at a private hospital.. crazy.

 

She was very well behaved for me and mostly just sat on my lap then entire time snuggling and sleeping. I'm sure she just enjoyed the attention and love of someone holding her, at 3, that is alot for a 3 year old in the orphanage, no ONE holds them, they are too old. When it was our turn to see the doctors she woke up and started screaming because there was 1 ugandan doctor and 3 italian ones (aka white) she was petrified and I had to sit on the table with her and hold her because she was running away. lol they said it was a fungus which is common in stage two of HIV, and they gave me a prescription for a cream to apply. I took her back and applied it (don't worry, i put on gloves) and I explained to 4 different ladies (4 different times) how important it was to apply it TWICE a day until next week and then if it is not better I will take her back. The thing is, I walked away thinking and knowing STILL that they probably will not do it twice a day, or maybe even once.. they don't realize how important this stuff is! Before I even went to pick up Gloria I guess they had sent another girl with two babies (4 and 5 months old)that were DOG sick with high fevers and diarea. turns out its because they've not been giving them formula, but have been feeding them posho and beans, YOU CAN"T FEED BABIES THAT! Annoyingly enough, its not as if they don't have the formula...there are PILES of cans of it in the office!

 

Its heartbreaking and frustrating at the same time, I kiss all these kids goodbye, and they don't even know what a kiss is...even the 3 and 4 year olds don't know how to give kisses because no one gives them any. I just can't understand....I feel like I have my foot half way in and halfway out. I'm here for a month, and then I go home, I can't fix it for good, I can only fix it for now and that is not enough! I've been thinking for a while now that I wanted to be long term at some time in my life, and then all the sudden I'm here and I'm thinking perhaps I can do better by living in the states and funding things, using the resources I have in the states: the money, the people's money that are willing to help, the businesses.. but then I'm here, taking a 3 year old to the doctor, and then kissing 20 kids goodbye and thinking... there isn't enough money in the world that could buy love like I can give them...

 

 Anyway, I am going to bed now, completely exhausted. Going to the village of Addie ay tomorrow to do kid stuff and then show the passion movie tomorrow night so it will be a long day, pray! I love you!

 

katie